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Some even worry their spouse may harm him or herself.

Battered women may stay out of fear of retaliation should they leave.

Autonomy doesn’t mean you don’t need others, but in fact allows you to experience healthy dependence on others without the fear of suffocation.

Examples of psychological autonomy include: Often, it’s this lack of autonomy that makes people unhappy in relationships or unable to commit. They’re afraid of even more dependence – of losing themselves completely.

Homemakers fear being self-supporting or single moms, and breadwinners dread paying support and seeing their assets divided.

Often spouses fear feeling shamed of leaving a “failed” marriage.

They believe broken promises and hope things will improve . Autonomy implies being an emotionally secure, separate, and independent person.

Yet, couples with more means may cling to a comfortable lifestyle, while their marriage dissembles into a business arrangement.Although the negative impact of divorce upon children is real, their worries may also be projections of fears for themselves.This is compounded if they suffered from their parents’ divorce.Going through divorce or separation brings with it all of the unfinished work of becoming an independent “adult.” Fears about leaving their spouse and children may be reiterations of the fears and guilt that they would have had upon separating from their parents, which were avoided by quickly getting into a relationship or marriage.Guilt about leaving a spouse may be due to the fact that their parents didn’t appropriately encourage emotional separation.Some codependent women give up their friends, hobbies, and activities and adopt those of their male companions.The combined effect of this adds to fears of loneliness and isolation people that they envisage being on their own.For spouses married a number of years, their identity may be as a “husband” or “wife” – a “provider” or “homemaker.” The loneliness experienced upon divorce is tinged with feeling lost. This also may be significant for a noncustodial parent, for whom parenting is a major source of self-esteem. They left home or their college roommate for a marriage or romantic partner.The relationship helped them leave home – physically.Do you feel trapped in a relationship you can’t leave? People give many explanations for staying, ranging from caring for young children to caring for a sick mate. Millions of people remain in unhappy relationships that range from empty to abusive for many reasons; however, the feeling of suffocation or of having no choices stems from fear that’s often unconscious.

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