Dating a nerd advice

While my problems with dating (or rather: not dating) gave me a lot of pain, they also prompted me to put a lot of effort into developing social skills in general.

Sure, there is no shortage of Internet dating advice.

The title isn't exclusively reserved for scientists and Trekkies. I can certainly be somewhat nerdy about books and movies and indie rock — I guess.

For instance, take the world's sexiest rock-star drummer, like a Tommy Lee. We all have oodles of insecurities about our strange quirks, and we're all dying to find that special someone who will find those quirks interesting. In fact, I was once dating a nerd, and he asked me whether I was cool or nerdy in high school.

He might even sabotage the date to find more engrossing company — whereas other guys will patiently listen to her stories of nail polish and shopping in the hopes of getting into her pants.

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MATT: He actually notices he's rambling on about the neurology behind toxoplasmosis, for instance, and stops himself, saying, "But enough about zombies. It is a soft, opinionated and personal matter, inadvertently revealing my secrets and vulnerabilities. But I see the profound change from something being frustrating to a field where I feel well.And I would like to share some lessons I’ve learned in the process, often the hard way.But, well, I actually want to help people, so it is wiser to think about a wider (not-empty! A lot of this content might be useful for other groups (gender, sexual orientation, level of nerdiness). By putting in some conscious effort you will get ahead of most men!A large portion of this information is on approaching people in general, or advancing any relationship - surprisingly many things I learnt from dating are crucial for my networking skills (which, as a semi-freelancer, I use a lot).Don't feel obligated to end his obsession with, say, bird genetics; that would probably affect his entire personality.You have to love a nerd for who he is, if you're gonna love him at all.As long as the woman isn't too aggressive, she is gonna get a date 9 times out of 10.HOW TO HANDLE IT IF A NERD MAKES A MOVE ON YOU MAURA: Are nerds more or less likely to make the first move?Some great minds consider this problem notoriously hard: How to help all the young male nerds I meet who suffer from [the dating] problem, in a way that passes feminist muster, and that triggers the world’s sympathy rather than outrage[?] I believe that, just as there are shy, nerdy men, there are also shy, nerdy women, who likewise suffer from feeling unwanted, sexually invisible, or ashamed to express their desires. :) I spiked it with numerous references, so even if you fine with dating, you may find a few interesting links (I am an unabashed link hoarder). Ideally, I would send it to my younger self (say, 15-25yo - the sooner the better), so as to be spared a lot of unnecessary emotional pain, feelings of loneliness, rejection and isolation. Most people struggle with it at some point, not only nerds. At the same time, the bar is not so high - all you need is to get a bit of understanding of yourself, your body, other people and dating dynamics.

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