Without the dishonesty of deception or hidden agendas, the misunderstandings and unrealistic expectations that can often lead to hurt feelings will largely be avoided.
Friends who have known each other a long time are obviously more likely to have a high level of mutual respect.
For example, if you sense that sexual activity would really “mean something” to your friend, but not to you, and you go there anyway, friendship quality can take a hit. On being "just friends": The frequency and impact of sexual activity on cross-sex friendship.What they found, at least among college students, was rather striking.I describe this research not to encourage or normalize sex in friendship, but because I think it helps us understand the variety of bonds that can work between men and women. Of the 300-plus surveyed, 20 percent of men and women acknowledged sexual activity with at least one friend at some time in their life.With one friend, it happened once, and it did cause strain in the relationship - ultimately, we lost touch.The other one is a friend still, and while our sexual relationship is more than a decade in the past, neither of us (I hope; suppose I can only speak for myself) regrets those past experiences, which sometimes acted as a balm in rough times, and other times relieved the boredom of a dry period when it came to dating.However, even relatively new acquaintances can treat each other with respect.Some people are just naturally more trusting and respectful than others.What is interesting is that some men and women have friendships that are so solid that activities that can ruin a dating relationship don’t injure the friendship. is the author of the recently released, COMMIT TO WIN: How to Harness the Four Elements of Commitment to Reach Your Goals (Hudson Street Press), available on Amazon and wherever books are sold. One friendship has lasted 25 years, the other 20 years.We tend to assume that sex outside the context of a romantic relationship is always bad; that it will always lead to discomfort, to feelings of “going too fast,” or to someone feeling used. To my mind, just because the romantic aspect does not work, doesn't mean the relationships are not of value outside that narrow romantic dimension. While I've never taken it lightly, I have, in my single days, slept with a couple of friends.Suddenly there will be uncertainty about where the friendship (relationship? If you can’t accurately “read” your friend’s intentions, and you want to keep the friendship strong, it’s best to directly talk with your pal about what sexual activity between the two of you would mean. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 17(2), 205-222.The take-away message As I mentioned earlier, the point of this discussion is not to encourage or normalize friendship sex. I have two male friends, both which started out with sexual intimacy, and which, due to a variety of issues, evolved into platonic friendships.