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At first, we find common ground — but eventually, I get tired of not being able to play the music I like in the car, and I get tired of taking friends to country concerts.

Let them know that no conclusion will be made until all of the facts have been gathered and analyzed.

Respect is in some ways just as important as love, and if you can't respect differences (even the little ones), your relationship will suffer.

If one of you is religious and the other isn't, you have to learn to truly respect their beliefs and not just secretly think that your partner is way off base.

If you really think about it, could you put your life ethos into words? Likewise, if your spouse's mother needs to either go to a nursing home or move into your home, are you willing to give up time and resources to allow that?

Decide now who can or wants to stay home with kids, who can make a career sacrifice and for how long.


  1. Questions like these, says Denham, are asked so that interviewees admit a weakness that justifies their being shown the door. He recommends responding with “I have a tendency to say yes and get overcommitted.” Then follow that with an example of how you are working on prioritizing and setting personal limits.

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