Fast talkers usually get frustrated with slow talkers, and slow talkers think people that talk at 100mph are on speed and can feel intimidated by them. Once you are pacing and in rapport you can then start to return slowly to how you want the conversation to go.When you start to do this effectively you’ll be amazed at how quickly you build rapport as you immediately get yourself on the same page as the other person. Low and behold the other person will often unconsciously start to pace you, and you have control of the situation as well as knowing you have rapport.Having said that, if you are in telesales and have 3.6 seconds to make an impact, forget the calibration and dive in there head first using the methods most likely to work.Just realize that you’ll probably get it wrong from time to time and it’s not a big deal. Pace – Pacing is critical in building rapport especially when using the phone.Before I get into the meat of this post I want to reiterate what I said yesterday and that like my wife, this is only right most of the time, not all the time.You have to start by calibrating the situation if you want to increase your chances of success.If the person you are meeting has a handshake designed to crack oyster shells don’t hang your hand out there like it’s a piece of wet halibut.Amazingly enough you do have long enough during a handshake to get this right, so practice it.
Don’t pretend you’re into horses if you aren’t and that you like to compete in triathlons if you don’t or that you think Animal Rights is cool if you’re wearing a pair of mink briefs. The moment you get the person talking about a passion that you both share is the moment that you have rapport. Ask questions – By this I don’t mean batter then with banal trivia questions, but ask them questions about themselves.
Kinesthetic people will tend towards phrases like “I can’t quite grasp that” “That just feels right to me” “My gut tells me” A word of warning: We all use every representational system so you want to be looking for patterns not specifics.
If in doubt mix it up and try avoiding staying stuck in your own in case.
We all have a primary representational system that will be visual, auditory or kinesthetic.
I may go into these in more detail in another post (although equally, I may not) but the skinny is this.