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Better still are the nacho style ‘all in fries’, which is a classic Clarke dish.

Oodles of lurid fake cheese, studded with good bacon and pickled onion, and flavoured with a grunt of chilli, and a numbing of Sichuan pepper, poured lustily over those wonderful fries.

And found true fried chicken salvation, one of my favourite mouthfuls on Earth. ‘To know about fried chicken,’ drawls John Egerton in his classic Southern Food, ‘you must have been weaned and reared on it in the South.

Because this is an art, no doubt about that, and in the American South, it’s taken very seriously indeed. Period.’ I’m not sure the Japanese and Koreans, deep fried chicken masters both, would agree.

The children vacuum down thick Chocolate Coco Pop shakes, and rave about the curly fries, and swing their legs merrily from the high stools, watching Baker Street go about its lunchtime business. ‘Good crunch,’ says Lola, ‘but the meat’s too dry.’ Everyone’s a bloody critic, eh. Juice drips and dribbles down the fingers, just as it should.

A burger that could steer even the most bovine obsessed over to the fowl side.

And while Mayor Bill Purcell’s ‘hot’ has a crust that glows as golden as a Pat Boone oldie, mine is blacker than Satan’s heart. That first bite, though, is sublime – a crisp, bone dry and beautifully seasoned exterior.Birds that allow them to make money from charging £3 for a fillet burger.But Clarke and Wolanski have Nando’s very much in their sights.If you couldn't tell for yourself by the amount of fake blood, ghoulish body paint and brightly coloured wigs that have been spamming Instagram, then Halloween is here!Celebrities seem to love going all out at this time of year and we've already seen a whole host of fabulous ensembles.Then the pain begins, a slight lip tingle at first, followed by an ever-building inferno of capsaicin ire – wave upon wave of molten flame turns my tongue into a useless lump of throbbing gristle. I look up at the Mayor, who smiles and nods his head.‘As I said, this ain’t chattin’ food.’Next time, I stuck with the hot.I bet she wonders why you never want to fuck thats worth a lol I have had the pleasure of spending a night with her.Let me tell you her body is beautiful in every way.And now, alongside business partner Dave Wolanski, he’s opened CHIK’N in Baker Street, the ‘guilt-free alternative’ to the likes of Chicken Cottage.Birds are free-range, employees are paid in excess of the London living wage, and you can get a chicken burger for under a fiver. With decent British birds, they can’t hope to compete with the fast-food joints who use cheap, miserable, intensively farmed imported birds.


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