But you've probably been there and done that with the bar and going-out scene, and might not have many opportunities in your current job—where you spend the majority of your waking hours.
That means your best bet is to maximize the most highly-datable options in the least amount of time, says Steinberg.
"And that means not just getting out there dating, but really understanding what and who you are looking for on a deeper level, and not the superficial stuff."Translation: You might think "not settling" means holding out for the tall, dark-haired Gosling who runs his own company and is perfect in every way, but what do you really ? Chance meetings might be romantic in the moment, but a guy with attributes to complement yours is romantic long-term.
Most of us are probably a bit romantic about potential partners in our 20s.In your 20s, you were probably dreaming up what would be the pinnacle of your career life, because, why not?CEO of a successful start-up, with your young-adult novel trilogy being turned into movies by your 35th birthday? It's great to, well, lean in—but many thirty-something women will admit that time seems to rapidly accelerate when in your 30s. Waiting for everything to "fall into place."It can't. Stop thinking that when you finally get a promotion, Mr. Go against the grain; it might end up feeling right.2.Money can't hold a relationship together — you can take that one to the bank.7. Do yourself a favor and bring your *ss back to the present moment. Do yourself (and all of us) a favor: keep them there. Two vodka tonics, a first date with a semi-decent dude or 50-cent wing night at your favorite locale aren't open invitations to let the flood gates open.9. There comes a point when loneliness will invite itself into your apartment in the middle of the night. There'll come a time where it's in all of our lives.In your 20s, you dated around, kissed a few frogs, partied with your girls, survived school and got a firm grip on your career (finally! The twenty-something decade is full of exploration and change—but then, you blow out 30 candles and something feels decidedly different."There's this really unique thing that happens in your thirties," says psychologist Kristen Carpenter, Ph D, Director of Women's Behavioral Health at Ohio State's Wexner Medical Center. Maybe you're happy with your pattern — you're a blissful serial monogamist or a sometime-dater — but for the rest of you who've had it UP TO HERE ... When it comes to love, your gut (and by gut, we mean vagina) can sometimes lead you astray. Try out the shy guy whose sense of humor you have to draw out.The best way to do this is to approach this part of your life with as much intention and effort as you would, say, your friendships or career.Actively position yourself to meet like-minded guys who are likely looking for legit, long-term relationships.